Spring anuraidh - last year, was the most difficult period of my entire life. It was a time marked by immense, loss, death, and sadness.
It felt wrong at the time for the domhan - world to be coming back to life while my world was dying.
The days were getting ‘better’ but my days felt worse.
There is an Irish seanfhocal, literally old word, or proverb as we would say in English - Is annamh earrach gan fuacht - Seldom is Spring without cold.
There is never anything good without some bad.
As I reflect on spring now, I’m buíoch - thankful that the time of my life that felt the most hopeless came at a time of the year that is often thought of as embodying hope.
A time of unwanted endings came at a time when the world was beginning again.
It’s a privilege that this time of year will always carry complex emotions and memories for me.
Throughout all that happened, I never wanted to look for silver linings. I never wanted to think of the bright side or the positive things that came out of a negative situation.
To do so felt like saying what happened was okay, or even worth the positive things that followed.
I now understand that it’s not a situation of either or. The bad doesn’t take the good, nor does the good excuse the bad.
Both exist.
And often, like the weather, both are forces of dúlra - nature. The good would have existed without the bad like how the sun shines again after every stretch of rainy days.
There aren’t silver linings to bad situations.
There are good things that were always there and were always going to be there, but through codarsnacht - contrast, we allow ourselves to appreciate them more fully.
Paid subscribers can listen to an audio version of this post! ✨
Love this. Grma
Well said. We who grieve eventually live in the "and" space.